Ups, Downs, and What ifs...

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately....a ton I feel like. This probably has something to do with the fact that I work constantly and am rarely home to do anything else. And what do you do when there is a lull in business and everything is done on the closing checklist? (which is my predicament right now) Well...you think. And then...you think some more.



God has been doing some amazing things in my life these last couple of months. From changing my major and schools to just simply revealing himself to me every day. Granted some of these changes and amazing things haven't come so easy and it has required me to listen, but it was well worth it. And it's so refreshing and exciting to just know that he's doing things in me and through me! I hope everyone gets to feel this sort of excitement once and a while. Too bad we so often take for granted all the things he blesses us with and does for us. Which I guess brings me to my next thing.

So I get to thinking how many awesome things God has been doing in my life and just how much he's given me and brought me through these last few months, and then it hits me. Hard. What have I been doing to thank Him? Besides just saying thank you... I mean sure, that's great, but if God wants our hearts and for us to serve Him daily, what am I doing to show Him how thankful I am or how much I love Him? I know it's really not about works, it's the heart, but I feel so dead about my faith sometimes. More than anything else though I think what bothers me the most is just how I allow other thoughts and things to consume my life, not Him. And I know it's not a crime to think about other things obviously, but if I allow my thoughts and inevitably my heart to dwell on things other than Him or furthering His kingdom, what does that say?

All I know is that in my heart I feel like I haven't been making my relationship with him one of my top priorities and there is a part of me that is "so what"..."what can you do"...but then the other half of me says "no, this isn't okay! Do something!" and I know that that is the side that I need to listen to. I just have to take that step forward and make Him my first priority again. And it won't be easy, I know, but He has called me to something so much higher. How could I simply push that aside?

That was kinda the downer of this particular blog considering that it stinks to have the self realization that you are doing something wrong or something needs to change. But I have to be stretched to grow. and the what if?....well...

What if we made God the center of our lives? All of it? Our thoughts, our dreams, desires....? Just a thought.